Great news sports fans! I got a job! After a year and two months, I finally nailed one down. I will be doing the same thing I did before, call center for a bank, only for 2 dollars more and I get out an hour and a half earlier. Oh yeah and I don't have to do sales! Noice! Today I decided that I am going to post some songs that sort of tell the story of the past year without a job.
I was let go pretty quickly, no advance notice. I mean, I knew I was hurting for sales and trying like crazy to get them, but I never thought that I would be leaving a few short hours after starting my shift that day. Unlike Fred Jones, I did not have the nostalgic time of clearing my desk and saying good bye to fellow employees. It was all done for me. I was pretty bummed about being fired and then on top of that I didn't get to say "Later" to my co-workers. Sucktastic, indeed!
Ben Folds - Fred Jones Pt. 2
After getting over the initial shock of being fired, I started to think about the job I was doing. I went through the "what if's", and "coulda, shoulda, waouldas". I also came to the realization that sales is not my strong point. I didn't like being driven by incentives or selling goals, over genuinely helping people out of the problem they were in. I felt shitty reflecting on what I could have done and didn't do, but in a way,I felt good about getting away from something I wasn't comfortable with. Not to up myself here, but I'm a nice guy, not a hidden motives guy with a nice guy covering. That might be bad, but it's the way I am.
Frightened Rabbit - I Feel Better
There was a while where I decided that I had to do it alone. I didn't need any help from anyone. I was too proud to let people do things to help me out. I didn't let my parents pay for dinner for me. When told that if worse comes to worse I had a place to live by my Sister and my Dad I would tell them that would not be needed, I'll be fine (which was true but still). I also had this complex that I was one step above the others who were applying for jobs. When things didn't happen I got angry, depressed, indifferent. "Why even try anymore? All the work I do, and I get no results. Of course I was knocked down quite quickly. I wanted to be alone, and when I finally felt alone it wasn't a good feeling.
Kid Cudi - Do It Alone
With that thinking came the slow realization that I wasn't one step ahead. I had a good work history but that didn't mean anything without college. Even with college it was tough to get a job. So there I was, not king of the castle. Was it a tough thing to learn? Hell yeah. Was it all my fault? No, not entirely. Once I got a grasp on that I seemed to move on to accepting it and dealt with it accordingly. Doing what I needed to do to get by.
Herman Dune - Not On Top
I began to really see the economy as the shit hole that it was. I understood that I wasn't the only one with troubles. This was both a comforting feeling and also a scary feeling. I wasn't alone, but there were thousands like me going through the same crap. Most probably having it ten times worse than I did.
Lee Rogers - Troubles
You can only take so much rejection, so many days of feeling sorry for your self, and so many days of getting angry. One day you wake up and you just decide it's not worth it. By that I mean you go from feeling crappy about everything to feeling like there has got to be a change around the bend. That is when faith kicks in. It's different for everyone. For some it's family and friends urging you to keep your head up, laughter, a great day that just makes the week seem better, or religious beliefs. I am pretty sure I got to that point of saying "It's not doing me ANY good getting pissed off, or upset at the things I can't control. Lets take what hope is left and build upon that." Faith is a good motivator, a good anchor, and better than all those negative feelings. It's just a point of finding it.
Gene Allison - Have Faith
I chose this song because I think it really represents everything described above. It's a soundtrack to a long journey filled with snares and the unknown. You can see the light at the end of the tunnel and though it's a rocky trip, if you keep your eyes on the prize good things will come. Daniel Johnston wrote simple songs that knew exactly what to say.
Guster - The Sun Shines Down On Me (Daniel Johnston Cover)
Last but not least is the inevitable song. The song you rock out to when everything turns around for the better. The celebration, the weight lifted off your shoulders, high-fives, woohoos, and praises. The time when you can finally look backwards and say "Whew, glad that is done with."
Jackyl - Down On Me
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